I’ve not been particularly active on the blogging scene since the start of summer, for a variety of reasons. Firstly, it’s summer and evenings are longer and there are more distractions (including a rather smashing couple of weeks in Austria). I’ve also had a fairly busy time at work, with several days spent away from home. And I took part in a ‘murder mystery dinner’ as one of the suspects, which was great fun but meant I had lines to learn.
But the main reason was that I was just feeling a bit low. Which is unusual for me, because I consider myself to be a fairly happy, laid-back kind of chap. I wasn’t actually depressed or anxious, as far as I understand those feelings; it’s kind of hard to express this in terms of ‘depression’ when, emotionally speaking, I don’t have the language or experience to talk about it in any seriously meaningful way. In my day to day existence as husband, dad, colleague etc. I was perfectly fine (I think) but what had taken a huge hit was my enthusiasm for creativity. I just couldn’t work up any desire to sit down and write or draw.
So what caused this state of apathy? Bloody ‘Brexit’, that’s what. The thought that half the people who voted were so far removed from my views was unsettling enough, but the fact that they were happily endangering the prosperity of my country and denying me rights and privileges as an EU citizen was, to be perfectly frank, a bit of a pisser.
Hence the hiatus.
But a few things have happened recently that have perked me up a bit. The Olympics have shown the best of British instead of the worst and, although the time difference to Rio has led to some late nights and bleary eyes in the morning, I’m no longer feeling embarrassed about my country. Positive vibes are ascendant once more, stamping their happy feet all over reports of xenophobia, delusional expectations and racism.
The other key thing happened today when the lovely Diana Wallace Peach reblogged my short story ‘Broken Sign‘ which set off a chain reaction of more reblogging. I’ve had loads of new visitors leaving many wonderful comments and I generally feel chuffed to bits. So thank you to all of you who’ve liked and commented and helped restore my mojo. There are already a few things in the pipeline that I need to get working on! 😀
And this has all given me at least a slightly better understanding of depression, even though it’s still a million miles away from the black dog that haunts many sufferers.