The Ghost of Fitness Past

I used to cycle every day To school and work and uni; My calves were like chiseled stone (But my upper half quite puny). By the age of twenty-one, y’know I’d done ten thousand miles And no problems to report except The odd crash and minor piles. I was lithe and athletic then. I would run, cycle, swim. (Unlike so many lads at school Whose … Continue reading The Ghost of Fitness Past

Embarrassing teenage poetry

Yeah, well, it was 1984 wasn’t it… ¬†almost exactly 30 years ago. With just days to go before the Bablake school magazine (entitled “Copyright” for some reason) closed for submissions, I asked the English teachers (specifically Mr Dave Prescott) whether anyone had done anything on the subject of Orwell’s classic. Apparently, they hadn’t. I therefore threw this together (plus a hastily scribbled picture which I … Continue reading Embarrassing teenage poetry

Christmas Crimestoppers

(a festive poem originally written for Crimestoppers ‘Rat on a Rat’ campaign to tackle drug dealers, 2004) ‘Twas the night before Christmas, And on a roof broad and flat… Santa was calling to Rat on a Rat! He’d delivered some gifts a few seconds ago And had spotted some lads in the alley below. “They’re pushing drugs!”, said Santa with shock And he reached for … Continue reading Christmas Crimestoppers